Resources for Grief and Loss
Books
Reading books to kids is a great way to help them understand difficult emotions like grief and loss. Books can be a way to open dialogue and conversation about the complicated feelings that might come with the death of a parent and help to normalize some of those big and, perhaps unfamiliar, feelings that they might be having. Reading together helps a child know that they are not alone.
You can sign up to receive free books from Bright Reads. Here is a sampling of other books that we like and links to some of the books being read.
For Kids Preschool Age to 8 years old
Lost in the Clouds: A Gentle Story to Help Kids Understand Death and Grief by Tinn Disbury
Lost in the Clouds is a story of Billy learning to cope with the emotions of his mother’s death. Through the metaphor of a cloud, Billy learns that his mother is in his heart even if not with him physically. A helpful guide for adults is at the end of the book. Appropriate for ages 3-6 years old.
Where Do They Go? By Julia Alvarez
Where do They Go? is a beautifully crafted poem for children that gently addresses the emotional side of death. Illustrated by Vermont woodcut artist, Sabra Field, Where Do They Go? is a comforting meditation on death, asking questions young readers might have about what happens to those they love after they die. Appropriate for ages as young 18months-2 years to 6 years old.
I Miss You: A First Look at Death by Pat Thomas
I Miss You helps kids understand that death is a natural complement to life, and that grief and a sense of loss are normal feelings for them to have following a loved one's death. Kids are encouraged to understand personal feelings and social problems as a first step in dealing with death. The book references the “soul” as a concept. The language is clear and straightforward, appropriate for ages 3-6 and probably as old as 8 years old.
The Memory Box: A Book About Grief by Joanna Rowland
From the perspective of a young child, Joanna Rowland describes what it is like to remember and grieve a loved one who has died. The child in the story creates a memory box to keep mementos and written memories of the loved one, to help in the grieving process. There is no mention of who died and could easily be about a parent’s death. A guide in the back includes information on helping children manage the complex and difficult emotions they feel when they lose someone they love, as well as suggestions on how to create their own memory box. Appropriate for ages 3-6 years old.
One Wave at a Time: A Story about Grief and Healing by Hannah Thompson
One Wave at a Time is a moving book about a child reckoning with the death of his father. The child, Kai, experiences all kinds of emotions: sadness, anger, fear, guilt as well a flatness. The book explores emotions as “waves” and provides narrative about what Kai does when a “wave” crashes in. Kai learns how to handle these various emotions and his family learns to adjust to life without Dad. Appropriate for ages 5 to 8 years old.
Missing Mommy explores a bereaved child’s reckoning with his mother’s death. The child experiences a range of emotion and sees the whole family -- including a father and sibling -- learn to adjust to life without Mom. This book uses clear language to explain death and the emotions that surround the loss of a parent. The child finds love and support among his family, helping him to feel less alone. Appropriate for kids 3-6 years old.
Always and Forever by Debi Gliori and Alan Durant
Always and Forever is a sweet story revolves around the death of Fox and the deep love that his friends and family held for him. The animals in the story express deep grief but also find joy in one another’s company. Coming together, the animals remember Fox and good times they had together. They recognize that through each of their own memories and sharing together, Fox lives in their hearts… always and forever.
This book follows the story of Alex who is grieving his father and tackles what happens to the body after someone has died. The text is warm and sensitive but technical (exploring the ashes after cremation and the details of burial). This book would be great for a child that has a lot of questions and is interested in some of the specifics of what happens to a body after death but won’t be appropriate for all children. The book shows how you can be sad and miss your person, just as you and your family are also finding happiness. Appropriate for kids 5-8 years old.
Muddles, Puddles, and Sunshine: your activity book to help when someone has died by Diana Crosby
Muddles, Puddles and Sunshine offers practical and sensitive support for bereaved children. This book offers a structure and an outlet for the many difficult feelings which inevitably follow when someone dies. It aims to help children make sense of their experience by reflecting on the different aspects of their grief, while finding a balance between remembering and having fun. This book is a useful companion in the present, and will become an invaluable keepsake in the years to come. Appropriate for kids 5-8 and possibly older.
Why do Things Die? by Katie Daynes
This "Lift-the-Flap" book is full of questions and answers for any kid that is curious about death and dying. Approaching death as a life cycle event, the book prompts children to lift a flap and ask questions like "How do plants begin life?" and "When do things die?" It also tackles emotional questions like: "Why am I hurting inside?" or "How can I remember my friend?" The questions and answers are non-religious, clear, compassionate, and range in topic from what happens when someone dies, emotions that come alongside grief, and ways to remember a loved one. This book is appropriate for young kids asking big questions about life and death, to older kids reckoning with the loss of a loved one.
Websites and Resources
There are a handful of organizations doing incredible work to help preschool age kids grapple with the unimaginable: the loss of a parent or close relative.
The National Alliance for Grieving Children
The National Alliance for Grieving Children raises awareness of the needs of kids who are grieving and provides education and resources for those that support them. This website has useful resources on talking to kids about loss as well as links to local support programs for both children as well as caregivers.
The Dougy Center provides support for children, teens, young adults, and families who are grieving and a place to share their experiences before and after a death. This website has helpful resources on grief and death, as well as grappling with advanced and terminal illness. You can also find Dougy Center-trained grief support programs in your own community.
Sesame Street is more than just a television show. Sesame Street in Communities helps parents and caregivers support kids’ healthy emotional and physical development through the exploration of a range of topics including big emotions, traumatic experiences, or offering comfort. The page dedicated to helping kids through the grief of a loved one uses Sesame Street clips that discuss death and loss, activities to help kids process loss, and articles for caregivers on how to talk to kids, understanding stress in kids, and more.
The ChildMind Institute’s website explores issues related to children’s mental health, from infancy to teenagers exploring a range of issues including issues related to health and grief. They also provide clinical care to children in New York and San Francisco, and telehealth in a handful of other regions. This links directly to their advice about talking to grieving children. While children’s ages are not specified here, this advice is appropriate for younger children. This specific article also links out to other helpful resources for more information and advice.
The Widowed Parent project is committed to supporting widowed mothers and fathers with children in the home. The website links to helpful books for parents about grief and loss, links and contacts to grief groups across the country, as well as wonderful resources on how to support your child through their grief. Videos of widowed parents provide advice from people who have been through the loss of a partner themselves.
Do you have resources or websites to add to this list? Let us know! contact@brightspotnetwork.org