Talking to Kids about Cancer
When a parent is diagnosed with cancer one of the first things that they may think about is: “how will I tell my kids.” The prospect of talking to your child about your diagnosis can be agonizing to think about and scary to do.
As each of the guides below details, kids are perceptive. It’s important to talk to them about what is going on in age-appropriate language. Be gentle with yourself. Talking to your child about cancer is hard work. The below websites and guides are here to help.
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry
AACAP has a short but solid list of how to talk to kids about a cancer diagnosis and treatment. Most of these suggestions are good ideas for kids of all ages but there are no ages specified here.
At the Cancer Support Community website you’ll find resources on how to talk to and support kids when a loved one is diagnosed with cancer. Here you’ll also find a short book on how to talk to and what to expect from kids of all ages, as well as other helpful resources including a radio program with a cancer survivor and mom and a webinar, “Talking with our Children.”
Dana Farber’s guide to talking to kids about a loved one’s cancer diagnosis is reassuring and supportive for the parent. They provide comprehensive information on both talking to kids but also parenting with cancer.
American Cancer Society’s series details talking to kids and teens about diagnosis, treatment, potential recurrence, Stage IV cancer, a parent’s death as well as support for kids. This is a lot of comprehensive information aimed mostly at elementary school aged kids and teens. This list includes ways to support kids by age, starting with infants.
CancerCare has a number of resources that guide adults in talking to children about cancer, side effects, and emotions that may come up for a kid when a loved one is going through a cancer diagnosis and treatment.
NCI provides a quick tip sheet on how to talk to kids about cancer. While there isn’t a lot of information aimed at elementary school kids and younger, they do provide a comprehensive book aimed at parents of teenagers as well as some good, concrete general information.
Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center
Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center offers a program “Talking with Children about Cancer” that includes help resources for parents and caregivers. The web resources include tips for talking to children at different developmental stages, FAQs about talking to children, and an extensive book and activity book list. These resources are free and available to the public, regardless of where you are receiving cancer care.
Check out Bright Spot Network’s comprehensive booklist.
This list addresses books for adults on talking to kids about cancer and death, books for teens, and books for children on cancer, feelings, grief, and loss, and more.