Feelings Wheel
Helping kids to learn about, recognize, and name their emotions is an ongoing process, one that will continue long after preschool, into elementary school and well… It's a lifelong process that we adults need help with too!
A Feelings Wheel is a way to help children name their feelings. These wheels are tools for parents and caregivers to assist a child in labeling and naming emotions.
When children are able to name how they feel, they are more able to manage their emotions. This will help them as they navigate through a parent or other loved one’s cancer diagnosis but it is also a skill that will help them as they grow-up and navigate other hard things that cross their path.
Download these Feelings Wheels. Print them out. Color in the pictures together.
Help your child make them their own. You can leave these on the kitchen table or on the refrigerator and have your child point to how they are feeling at breakfast or dinner, or when they are having a big emotion.
Most importantly, let them know that all emotions are good emotions by validating and responding to them in a calm way. Tell your child that you love them no matter how they are feeling.
Here are some other tips to help a child learn about emotions:
Help your child label the emotions that they are expressing and to the best of your ability, validate those feelings:
For a baby, this might be taking a baby to a window to wave to parent at daycare when they are feeling sad or scared; or, it is helping an 18 month old who is frustrated to be in the car seat; or perhaps, your toddler is angry that their favorite cup is in the dishwasher; or, a four year old is sad to leave a playdate. Validate those emotions in words and actions!
Think about what your child is feeling and get curious!
Anger: What is it you want?
Sadness: What did you lose?
Fear: What do you need to pay attention to?
Joy: What are you celebrating?
Talk, talk, talk to your child about feelings! How many emotions can they name? What are some of the different emotions they experienced today? What did you, the grown-up, feel today?
Read books about emotions and feelings together. (We like this one, this one, and this one.) As well, you can engage your child in the emotions that characters you are reading about or watching might feel. How do you know?
Give your child space to talk about how they are feeling. Acknowledge how they are feeling and let them know in a calm way that you are listening to them.
Talk to your child about YOUR feelings! Modeling is the best way for kids to learn. Some parents think of it like narrating their inner thoughts: “Oh man, we are out of my favorite coffee! That makes me so frustrated.” Take it a step farther and explain how you cope with your feelings:
“I just learned dad needs to stay an extra day at the hospital. That makes me really sad. I really miss him right now. I’m going to draw him a picture for when he gets home–do you want to help me?”
“I am feeling really angry and disappointed that we can’t go to grandma’s birthday party because mom is feeling too tired. I was really looking forward to it. Sometimes it helps me to take a few deep breaths when I’m feeling overwhelmed [and then take your belly breaths in front of your child to show them; or invite them to try it with you].