Brave Like Mom: Finding Strength in Words
By Monica Acker
Brave Like Mom is the story of a young girl who wants to be as brave and strong as her spider rescuing, applesauce jar opening, chronic illness fighting mom. When she learns that being brave doesn’t mean you never cry, the young girl is able to see that she already is as brave and strong as she needs to be. As brave and strong as mom.
Why did I write?
I wrote Brave Like Mom for my sister-in-law and nieces, but upon reflection, it was honestly more for me. In 2018, my sister-in-law received a diagnosis - gastric cancer - stage 4. At the time, my brother and sister-in-law’s daughters were 1 and 4. I wanted to be there to help, but because it was 2,000 miles and a four hour plane ride away, I couldn’t visit often. Instead, most of my love was sent through phone calls, texts, and probably too many “rooting for you” gifs. I did have the pleasure of hosting my nieces for a little over a week while my sister-in-law had and recovered from major surgery. These girls were so little, yet they showed me what it meant to be so brave. A month or so later, when my sister-in-law was too ill to receive a chemo treatment, the first draft of the story poured out of me. The bravery that those girls showed was their mama’s gift to them, and after that phone call, I needed a dose of it too. So, you see, Brave Like Mom was for her, but it was really for me. I needed to remind myself of just how strong she was and just how brave my nieces were and continue to be.
Writing is a gift that can help process big emotions. Whether journaling, writing letters to others, or putting pen to paper for a memoir, writing helps the writer sort through their thoughts and feelings. For our little ones writing often comes out as drawings. Allowing children the freedom to write or draw can be a helpful tool in understanding how they are feeling. And we can do the same for ourselves as we write beside them. Writing Brave Like Mom helped me focus on strength and find hope through my sister-in-law’s treatments and the grief of saying goodbye. With my brother’s blessing (and an agent, editor, and illustrator), this story went from something to help me, to something to help others.
How do books help?
Books help us start a difficult conversation. They help us connect with our emotions. They let us feel seen. Children who have a loved one with cancer, or another serious illness, can recognize the similarities between their awesome loved one and the mother featured in Brave Like Mom. They may also recognize the feeling of being sad and scared.
At the same time, books offer space between the child and the subject so that they can look at it more objectively. It can be easier to notice what is happening on the page, discuss that, and then apply it to oneself, rather than speaking about one’s own feelings at the start. Once they notice that the girl in the story is brave and strong, then the child can make that connection to say - so am I!
It is my hope that families can read this book together to start a conversation about things like the medicine that doesn’t taste like bubblegum and might make the parent feel sick while helping their body get better. I hope that children will recognize not only the feeling of being sad and scared but that they, too, are brave and strong and fierce. I hope that families can giggle over the well meaning mushy meals. And I hope that every reader feels the gift of strength and bravery, no matter the outcome, that my sister-in-law and nieces shared with me.