“Unfortunately, and Quite Surprisingly”
by Mandy Geyman
On the day of my cancer diagnosis in January 2021, I let the words from my amazing nurse practitioner, Nicole, who had persistently worked to get answers about the breast changes I had been experiencing, sink in: “Unfortunately, and quite surprisingly, the test results are showing that this is in fact breast cancer.”
Only one thought crossed my mind: “What about the baby?” I was 17 weeks pregnant with our second child and facing a stage 3 breast cancer diagnosis at only 32 years old.
My husband, Matt, and I had been trying for a second child for quite some time, but without any luck. We prayed every day for multiple years that we would be able to have another child, and were filled with so much gratitude that our prayers had finally been answered. I was terrified that with the cancer diagnosis I would be told my only choices would be to keep the baby or receive cancer treatment. It was a heartbreaking and unbearable thought.
Miraculously, those were not my only choices. Nicole, without missing a beat said, “We view this as treating two people. We’re going to get you through this.” Though being diagnosed with breast cancer during pregnancy was still a heavy thought to bear, I instantly felt a sense of hope at her words.
The next week was a whirlwind of appointments, tests, second opinions, port placement surgery, my first round of chemotherapy as a pregnant woman, AND an autism diagnosis for my oldest daughter, who was 3.5 years old at the time. Apparently when it rains, it pours. Over the course of a single week, everything – and I mean everything - in our lives had been completely turned upside down. Matt and I suddenly found ourselves in the middle of a global pandemic, with a cancer diagnosis, a child needing extra help, and another child on the way. To say it was an overwhelming situation is an understatement.
Thanks to an amazing medical team, I received 13 total rounds of chemotherapy while I was pregnant. Also, can we just take a second to reflect on the fact that women are told to avoid cold deli meat during pregnancy, yet somehow there I was having chemicals pumped straight into my jugular. It really makes you stop and think – is a club sandwich really off limits during pregnancy?
On June 10, still bald from chemotherapy, I gave birth to a healthy baby girl who we named Hope. She is perfect, healthy and thriving. Just 18 days after giving birth, I had a single mastectomy to remove my cancerous breast, which was then followed by 30 rounds of radiation treatment. After several additional tests to double check for cancer spread as those tests were not able to be completed during pregnancy, I am proud to say that there is currently no evidence of disease in my body. It’s been (and continues to be) a wild but gratitude-filled ride.
Somewhere along the line, I began documenting and sharing my journey through Instagram as a way to process my emotions surrounding this journey but also as a way to educate and “humanize” cancer to other people, especially people my age who luckily don’t have as much experience or intimate knowledge of cancer at this point in their lives. It’s been a wonderful outlet for me as I’ve been able to bring joy and laughter to a terrifying situation and also pull back the curtain on the “inside” of a cancer diagnosis. Shameless plug here, but I’d love for you to join me on Instagram – username “warriormamamandy” - and follow me. I’m an open book about my journey with cancer, my family’s journey with autism and my husband’s journey of living with me. We would truly be honored to have you part of our team.
While I have chosen to cope with this crazy journey using a lot of humor, there are still many difficult, sad and overwhelming days. For example, it’s a strange and surreal feeling dropping your child off for her first day of preschool, watching the other mothers tearfully say goodbye and linger outside of the classroom, while you hastily usher your daughter inside, give a quick wave to your firstborn, and speed back to your car to make it to radiation treatment on time. Or sobbing to your dad over and over again, “I don’t want to die,” as he drives you as quickly as he can to the emergency room as you miss your newborn’s first pediatrician appointment. Or when you sign up to help with your daughter’s school Valentine’s Day party, but afterward start to doubt if you should have because, “What if I’m not here at Valentine’s Day?” When cancer steals away those special moments and milestones…those are the hard days. And those are also the days when you really become thankful for your tribe.
It's so important to me to say to other women facing a cancer diagnosis during their pregnancy that you are NOT alone; you CAN and WILL get through this. Knowing there are others out there who understand exactly what you’re going through during a unique, “unfortunate and quite surprising” time in your life makes all the difference in the world. Reach out to those women (or let them reach out to you), share your story, listen to theirs, and be comforted in knowing that you will follow in their footsteps of getting through this challenge. You are a warrior and one strong mother. Never, ever forget it.
Mandy Geyman is a breast cancer survivor, mom of two and a lover of cheese. After being diagnosed with breast cancer at only 32 years old and 17 weeks pregnant, Mandy has committed herself to finding the joy and humor in life's journey and spreading breast cancer awareness to other young women. Follow her on Instagram @warriormamamandy as she documents her story, navigates motherhood as a breast cancer survivor and wishes for a golf cart.